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She Called Me A Scammer

Brief Overview

In the same week I was called a scam artist while also being praised for making an impact in someone’s else’s life. Such extreme differences… and yet they received the same deliverables. I’ll tell you how I handle it in this episode.

Big Ideas

Two Sides of The Same Coin [0:47]

Last week I got a message that hit me right between the eyes. I’ve gotten better at handling these, but it was a customer who flat out called me a scammer – the same day I received two other messages. One was from Mia who was sharing how excited she was that she had finally launched her membership site. The other one was from Heidi, who launched her membership site back in May and it has since gained up to 104 members. It was an amazing story of people who are experiencing tremendous benefit from what it is that we do. The crazy part is that the deliverables for both sides were exactly the same. How can somebody have a vastly negative experience while others are experiencing success?

You Are Not Going to Be Perfect for Everyone [3:26]

What I realized is the more success you experience, the more you will begin to experience the extremes. It’s really important for you to form a mental standpoint to keep things in check because some messages can absolutely derail you. You have to realize you’re not going to be perfect for everyone and that’s okay. Some people are really going to resonate with you, while other people are not.

Before taking the job, our community director Shanna reached out to a number of people who knew who I was, including the person she knew didn’t think that fondly of me. Even though that person didn’t necessarily like my style, she still recommended that Shanna take this job because it would be a great opportunity. It’s okay that some people are not going to resonate with you. When you realize who your people are, double down on loving them because they will be attracted to you on a much stronger level than if you try to please everybody. As a friend and mentor of mine, Jim Edwards, said “Love me or hate me. There’s no money in the middle.”

Focus on Your People [5:28]

If you are a people pleaser like I am, this can be a really tough concept. Because you and I, we want to make everybody happy, but the reality is that some people are just not going to be a right fit for you. You should get clear on who your people are and who you really want to serve, and double down your attention to help them make massive progress.

I had one person tell me he didn’t like me because I came across too fake as I was too positive all the time. Some people will find a reason not to like you and they’ll find a way to pull you down. It’s hard to forget them because we think that we’re giving up so much, but some people are not going to be perfect for you and that’s totally okay.

The Mindset Matters [7:07]

Your mindset and the way it’s translated to your audience really matters in this too. When our friends passed away in that terrible tragedy, I was not as engaged with our paid community and didn’t take the opportunity to frame up the experience for our people like I normally would. People’s own little negatrons started creeping forward, and they began seeing everything through a negative, lens. You and I get to frame the experience that people have by shedding light on the value that they are receiving and how they could benefit from it.

When I was at our Tribe meetup over in Australia, one woman told me that the backstage pass I delivered inside in Connect this month was not relevant for her because it was only geared toward people who were in the earlier stages of launching their membership site and she’s already launched hers. I was able to explain to her that a step-by-step break down of a successful promotion we did could be used not only to launch a brand-new membership site, but also to relaunch an existing one or do a flash promotion of it. The light bulb suddenly went on and she realized that I was totally right. That’s a perfect example of helping people see the value of what it is that you’re providing because if you’re not there to help guide that, they will start going on their own path.

3 Key Things to Remember [10:40]

One of the things we had done with this woman who called me a scam artist was forming accountability groups. Her accountability group equaled her personal experience, so you can imagine how quickly that negativity spread across the group. If you take a step back and look at the bigger picture, the whole membership as a whole was thriving, people were loving it, and the feedback was phenomenal.

There are three things I want you to remember:

  1. You are not perfect for everyone and that’s okay
  2. The mindset matters
  3. Keep moving forward

I remember feeling demoralized when I had my first unsubscriber back in 2004. My friend Matt told me that people who stay are my true believers. They are the people I can really double down on. It’s okay to get rid of the people you can’t serve, and that brings focus and attention to those you can serve, because they believe the same.

Attract the People You Enjoy Serving [13:16]

I remember the first time I launched Tribe, it’s gone on to serve thousands of people, helping them launch their membership sites and communities. Yet the first time we launched that, I had one gentleman who just went off the rails. He told me I was going to go to hell because I didn’t give him a free copy of Tribe. Ultimately, we kept moving forward, and now my team shields me from a lot of this stuff.

I know there are going to be people who won’t like what I’m doing, and that’s okay because what I’m doing is not perfect for everyone. If you’ve had somebody who has lashed out at you, just know that it’s not always your fault. Sometimes they’re dealing with this stuff themselves and sometimes they’re looking for an avenue to project that disappointment in their own results. You just have to let it bounce right off you, get clear on who you serve and why you serve them, and just keep moving forward. You’ll attract the people that you enjoy serving, and that’s the most important piece of all.

Memorable Quotes

“When you realize who your people are, double down on loving them because they will be attracted to you on a much stronger level than if you try to please everybody. ” – Stu McLaren

“Get clear on who you serve and why you serve them, and just keep moving forward.” – Stu McLaren

“You and I get to frame the experience that people have by shedding light on the value that they are receiving and how they could benefit from it.” – Stu McLaren

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